Yeah, I'm Back....

posted on: Monday, September 03, 2007

I did'nt forget! I got a mind like a steel cage in which In won't forget to write you's! This aint no Shakey , this is me, Tony! Is this tour diary three weeks late? Hell yeah! Do I care? Hell no! I do have to warn you I am writing this tour with no notes, so some of this is skecktey/made up. I have also been drinking. So suck it! Let's hit it!
*Every where was hot as shit.*-I'm from Texas and I hit a new level of wimpiness by refusing to go in the outdoors as much as I could. It was f-ing hot. It f-ing sucked. Look, I'm a small guy, but I guess I'm packed up pretty well. So I sweat like a pig. What the hell am I gonna do? We don't have roadies. I ask everyone to help the enviroment so that the temperature of the globe lowers so I won't sweat anymore. Think about it, chuckleheads!
OKLAHOMA!- was what what it was
Missouri-had chiggers in the Hotel. Snortty Horse cool, though!
Newport-Hello Wapakoneta!
Tennessee-2 f-ing hot! Get some rain!
Alabama-what you thought it was.
Louisiana-natural wet T-shirt contest state!
Actually I'm getting very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, tired.
Screw everything else!
Highlights!: 1) Hobo killing in Missouri is leagal, so Chad went to town 2) Nashville was pretty cool to us, thank God we did'nt play at that other place with that other band! 3) Baton Rouge is hot and sweaty. Drink cold beer to alieviate. Praying to Satan for comfort would help too.
Let me just say this, this was our last tour before "my" critter show's up. I had a great time, and at the same time discovered that maybe we were taking time off at the wrong time. I feeel a little guilty. Please stick with us while we get our "house" in order.
We are planning on some local dates in September, October off, some shows in the Mid-West in early November, as well as some special shows at the end of November. Please check in and keep up!
Think of midgets!
T

The Shaky Shows

posted on: Friday, July 13, 2007

Greetings from Texas! I know that it would be more exciting if I wrote this thing from Indy, St. Louis or KC, but I didn't have time. By the way, my name is Shaky Blake and much like I stole that moniker from one of The Drams songs, I have stolen this tour diary from Tony to give you a different perspective of the band on the road.

Our first stop was Indianapolis and there is nothing like a 14-hour drive to start off your maiden voyage of life on the road. The band, being the veterans they are, acted like it was no big deal, but I was pretty sure I was going to die in that van. (My theory was looking pretty prophetic when Tony took the wheel. I love the guy, but he is the worst driver in the history of ever. At one point I don't think he looked at the road for seven minutes.) Anyway, we arrived at The Vogue and loaded in and waited for the Old 97's to sound check. The 97's were super sweet and they came over to say hello to the guys and shoot the breeze. As soon as the Drams got to do their sound check I knew it was going to be a good show. The crowd seemed to agree with me as they were very receptive and a lot of people took notice and came to the merch booth to get as much information as they could about the band. I did my best to hit on the merch girl working for the Old 97's and she did her best to let me know she had a boyfriend. Thanks to the two long-time fans who came from Cincinnati (sorry, forgot their names) and all of the other new fans I who came to talk to me. Thanks to the guy who loved "the cow shit song." And thanks to Molly the merch girl who didn't get mad at me for falling in love with her in two minutes. The only other notable part of Indy was getting the chance to kick the crap out of Keith. He kept challenging me to wrestle and Brent, Jess and Tony gave me the go ahead. My attack included a body slam, a face kick, multiple back kicks and a knee drop. He vowed revenge in St Louis, but I couldn't take him seriously.

Speaking of St. Louis, that is where we headed on Tuesday. The venue was called The Pageant and it was huge and sounded fantastic. The venue had a large pit area and semi-circular sitting on three more levels. The pit only had about thirty people for the start of the Drams show, but after two songs, the pit started to get lively and fill up. By the sixth song I had people coming to make sure I was going to be open all night. St. Louis was a very memorable night and with how great the Old 97's played, it was the best total show of the short trip. Thanks to The Pageant for the great hospitality. Thanks to Matt for all of the great things he said about the band. And thanks to Keith for trying to wrestle me again. By night's end I think my two-day record against Keith was 37-0. He prides himself on his sleeper hold, but he can't use it when he is stuffed between the bed and the wall.

Things could have gone wrong in Kansas City on the third night, but the guys pulled it all together for another great show. The sets were short, but they packed as much into their time as they could. The Crossroads is an outdoor place so the sound wasn't great and Jess was worried about having a "Curtis Mayfield incident" due to the perpetually swaying light fixtures, but the reaction was still great at the merch tent. I guess the only complaint would have to be that after Brent called me "a sasquatch-looking dude" on stage, somebody from the crowd stopped by the tent and said, "you do look like a sasquatch!" I mauled that person to death. Seriously though, KC was great for the band. The lovely Whitney (she brought pies!), the angelic Kate, the talented Ike, the drinking Matt and the drummer from the Down Trucks (sorry I forgot your name, dude) all showed up to give their support the band. After the show, they all came with us to Davey's, a local place the boys usually play when they go through KC. Luckily, the band playing Davey's on Wednesday was a goth metal band. At one point, during a cover of David Bowie's "I'm Afraid of Americans", the leather kilt, fishnet shirt-wearing lead singer of the band was stunned to see Chad in the smiling from ear to ear in the middle of the dance floor, arms extended and singing along, word-for-word. Chad looked like Woody Allen doing his best Iggy Popp and that 6'5" lead singer knew he had met his match. And Chad didn't even need tape over his nipples.

So what did I learn on the trip? I learned that Brent keeps Mountain Dew in business all by himself. I learned that Jess can eat a meal in less than seven seconds. I learned that Tony is wonderful and sharing space and bad at driving. I learned that Chad scares Goth metal singers. I learned what is like to be the best looking guy in a full van, and I learned that Keith easier to wrestle than my seven year old nephew.

Thanks for reading (if you read this far). I hope to see you at a show at some point.

xoxo,

Shaky Blake

The finish of the tour, and stuff...

posted on: Friday, July 06, 2007

m writing this as I have just got off work.
The long and short: Milwaukee=hello, Milwaukee, hello?.
Chicago= not enough time. Days off(3 days too many)= Saw Blue Mountain! Yeah! Thank you sweet Amy P. and Chris F. and wife!
Pittsburg= that was quick.
Buffalo= Pete is a God. So are Marty and Susan. Do not flirt with the Gods. They will kick your ass.
Cleaveland=The Beachland is a must attend venue. Come see it, because no-one in Cleaveland does. Or no one in Cleaveland sees us.
Waupaukeneta= Our friends and family. We got to see some of our heroes play. Jason and the scorchers BIATCH! For all of you that said Wapaka-what? CHOKE ON IT! A very late show for us, but it did'nt mater as just being there gave us shivers. Happy 10th Linigers!

So I realize that the "Tour Dairy" was pretty sucky,what with no descriptions at all. This is because we are going to change gears into my next "off the cuff Tony's drunk-what -the -hell -is-he-saying-is- he - licking-toads- and watching-Wolfgang Puck-with nothing to do?" moment. Actually, Wolfgang Puck is on, and he sucks about 13 and1/2 perfectly pan-seared Donkey Dicks, with VEG-E-TA-BULS(say it like that turd and it's funny!)!

But I have other matter to address: I hate KEREOKE!
I don't even care if I'm spelling it right. In fact I am not going to ever try. F-off Keeryokee, F-off!
PARENTAL WARNING: THIS NEXT RANT WILL CONTAIN BAD WORDS......USED A LOT. VERY,VERY BAD LANGUAGE......AND SPELLING.

So here is the deal. I am pretty much a liberal who believes that anyone can say what they want any time. It would make sense that everybody should be able to show their "artistic" side via the Careeokay machine.
In fact I've seen very good people work the stick at a Kararyokr, including Chad and Keith from my on Rock' n'Roll Quintet, the Drams. I'm talking about those other people. The ones who don't know....
I'm a drummer. My job is to keep time, make all other bandmates look awesome, maybe look cool, then get my shit off stage. I take my job very seriously.
I have a side band. I sing "back up". In reality the guys turn my mike off. God bless them. I suck. Really. I would never really subject an audience to listen to my cataurwalling.
So why would I(me), Tony Harper stay a whole night at a KeryOK night? Because I was getting paid. One of my off gig jobs is working at a resturaunt/bar(I legally have to say that)and they have a Kereocay night. They have to do what they have to do, the economy isn't that strong, don't believe the BushMachine.

I have a college degree in History with a minor in Political Science. That and $18.75 will make you happy with a girl named Candice on the bad side of town. I understand the fact of free speech, and I repeat: I HATE KEREOKE! So I am using my free rights of speech.

So, why I hate Karoyokee:

The "D.J." is a douche. Dude, your not even a real D.J... and I hate D.J.'s. D.J.'s laugh at you. Your not creative, you just punch in songs in your computer. Plus, something fucks up every-other song. If you take any body home that's just sad. For the girl. How drunk was she? And get rid of the gold, creepy old guy. Come to think of it, don't put your picture on the advertisement for Kumroko night. Kreeopee is not about you, it's about the people coming up there that can't sing. Speaking of which....
One of 15 at a krapopree participants can sing. God bless them. It is the other God-Damned 14 that make me wanna puke. So remember: a) No matter how much YOU or I drink, you suck.
b) I love "My Favorite Band". You ruined them. I can never listen to them again. Thanks, dick. Or le' cunte'.
c) Just because you can't sing, don't add other frat-fuck-no having-I.D.'s-friends that can't sing with you. We hated you before, even more now. SMU has a bad hisory of late, maybe ya'll should cool it down for a while, dick-fucks.
d) For the ladies. No one wants to hear you sing Brittney Spears or Gwen Stephani. They suck. Any guys that "dig" you are dumb stupid -crossed-eyed(poor or rich, how ironic) creepy kid touchers of which you will cry to boyfreinds for years. Plus not only are you killing dogs ears in the neighborhod, you are killing slugs too. They are very delicate. Respect the slug.
e) Please get some Rythym. Jeeesuuus H. If I'm there, come to me, give me a dollar, and I'll shit, so you can rub it around your body so you can absorb some sense of beat. If I'm not there, find anybody that is tapping their feet in time. Christ Almighty that pisses me off.
f) F is for Fuck-tard. 3 hours into Charochee' your drunk, your looking over at that half-Asian chick who seems to be so hot over the dickweed singing that 311 song. Dude you are just not the 11-th power Vampire-Wizard she's looking for. Plus you don't have on three inch heels, nor is half your mullet shaved off. Fuckin' Killers.

Like I said, do it if you like. But if you have the slightest inkling, just a C-hair of an idea that perhaps you may not be "strong" in the feild of singing, don't. You may have time to hit on that red-haired chick in the short-shorts while her douche-bag boyfreind is singing "Mony, Mony" by that stupid fucking idiot Billy Idol.* Let me know how it turned out.

T

*Tony in now way impunes that he know's how to hit on girls. Or sing. Or sing Karokae. He just hates Kareoke. He also says if you are going to sing a Kareeokae song, "Kareoke" by Five Eight(From Athens GA.) would be appropriate. Since NO ONE will have that song AC/DC will get butts moving and lighters flyin'.*

Time to kill.

posted on: Friday, June 22, 2007

Howdy, howdy. Just taking a little time out to give the 411.

Our last two shows with the Rockets were cool as Brent and Jess got up and played the lasts songs. The first night they played Neil's "Tonight's the Night". The second night a Three Dog Night song(don't know the title but you've heard-"I never been to..."). Both were weedly-weedly guitar wank fest! And awesoooome! All in all the Casino experience was pleasing. Not at all what we or you would have expected.

The next day we played in Minneapolis. It was a city sponsered event dowtown at Peavy Plaza. It was a good chance for people who would'nt normally come out to see us. We started at 6:30. Clouds were about, threatening rain. They went away, and then it rained! The Devil was beating his wife! It only lasted about 20 minutes and did'nt scare too many off though. Afterwards we went to some watering holes, and ended up staying with our ol' buds Rev. Jim and his roomy Jeff. Luckily we had a short drive and got to sleep in, 'cause lord know's we needed it. The Champagne of Beers and Gentleman Jack tried though. Drams=1, Minneapolis=49.

Last night we played in Keith's hometown of Eau Claire at the House of Rock. House of Rock! House of Rock!!!!!! We blew people's minds. We must've because of the looks on everyone's faces. Kinda like RCA Victor. Or they just did'nt get it. I prefer my version. So there. Kieth's mom took us to dinner, then made omlets for breakfast! She also said we played to loud and needed to quit smoking. Yes ma'am........

So we left the Mini-Hilton and headed up to Milwaukee. Now I'm almost done. But if you live here, get a move on, attendance is mandarory, M-Fer. It's the weekend for Christ-sakes!
T

Gotta little time?

posted on: Sunday, June 17, 2007

Because we've had three days in this Casino, and need to catch you up!

So anyway, like I was telling you, we played our show for the Alexandria Music Project(AMP). Afterward we were offered to play at a club around the corner. So around 12:30 a.m. we roll in, set up, fired up and played. I don't think it was good. I'm not sure. Probably was'nt. But I think the crowd was entertained? Surely they were entertained, in some way, shape, or form. Possibly. Uhm, I don't know what to say. If you were there, and not entertained I'm sorry. Yeah, I'll take the hit on this one. I think.

Anywhoo, the Midwest Tour started Wednesday in Ft. Smith Arkansas. We had never played there, but the Rib Room staff were cool, the sound was good, the stage is outside and the weather was nice. Most of the crowd was non-commitable to us Drammies but there was a small contingent of vocal fans from from out of town, a fight to entertain the ones that did'nt care, and a good time was had. A very enoyable surprise.

A short drive to OK City on Thursday. Our good friend Mike and his Better Half took to dinner before the gig. The gig itself was a classic throw back to olden S.B. days. Describing it fully is impossible describe it but the ending of the show had everyone in the audience Jaws-a-gapin'! Oh how I wished somebody would have filmed this gem! I'll leave it for someone else to write it on one of the list if they are so inclined. But that shit was awesomely heelarious! Afterwords our ol' buddy from Denton, Jon T put us up, and we drank some beers, shot the shit, and feared the long drive to St. Louis.

Off Broadway in St .Louis has kinda been our home base when we play there. As always we had a great time and met some interesting characters. Never fails. Got much needed sleep.

Next gig was a early show in the City Park of Manitowac. S.B. actually played this a couple of years ago. And this things just a smaller version of Milwaukee's Summerfest except you don't know any of the bands. Yeah you can get a Braut-n- beer, take off your shirt and show off your pastey-white bear like torso, get in a fight with a biker just like the big city folk ! Really, I'm just teasing, we had a great time. Keith had a Braut-n-beer. Because he was in his homeland. In fact we all had Brauts the next day as Ryan and his wifey Q'd up for us! Good-Good!

So for the last two nights we've been playing at the Oneida Casino outside Green Bay. Tonight is the last night and I must say we will miss this place as we have been spoiled rotten! It's kinda weird as the stage is behind and above the bar, which has poker machines in it. So some people are listening/watching us, and then some could'nt give 2 squats. But the stage sounds great. Once again playing with the Bottle Rockets, and consequently we are happy campers.

Whew, I did'nt know if I would get through this, but I did. I might update tonight if I feel the muse. Know I gotta get cleaned up for the gig. Tomorrow we play in Minneapolis, which I think is a pretty good drive. I think it's a festival type show to boot, there's that, aw jeeze, don't you know. 5000!

Wisconsinnnnnnn!!!!

posted on: Friday, June 15, 2007

O.K., O.k., O.k., I screwed up! I've been neglegent in my posting. I've been really, really, really busy since since we got back from the SouthEast. The wifey and I are at six months, three to go, for the impending arrival of baby boy T. So needless to say I'm burning the candle at both ends trying to get our poop together! If you know me or my wife at all, you know that we are not strong in the planning department. We're more like "big idea" folk. I will forgo the details, but please accept my apology!
Firstly, I've gotta wrap up the last two days of the S. E. tour. We spent a good chunk of our off time at Jenn's and she's a saint for putting us up. But everyone already knew that. God bless Matt for tolerating us too! I would be a dino-dick if I did'nt mention the other folks in Athens who have become our extendo-family: Shayne(who gave us spiffy haircuts and rockin fried chicken, plus sass galore) and Todd(singer/songwriter deluxe who pours a mean shot), Fritz and Julie(who came to Macon for God sakes) at Tasy World, Jayne-Jayne-Jayne, sweet as can be. Matt T. for staying up and getting out of the house. Johnny Roulette and Ruthie, ever vigilant. Hell we even got blessed with getting to with Patterson, Becca and sweet little Ava!
Both Athens and Macon shows were a blast. We were lucky enough to be playing with the Ever-badass-you'd-be-crazy-to-miss-southern Bitch at Tasty World. Awe-freeking-some! We had never been to Macon and that town is lucky to have a venue like the Hummingbird. Tops, baby. All 'round!

That's done. Next, Louisiana

Three shows with the Bottle Rockets. It's gigs like these that you feel lucky. Not only are these guys our heroes, but we have become friends with them. Kinda gets you lightheaded. Personally, I could watch their drummer, Mark play for ever. He is just pure D frickin' kick-ass. I wish I knew half of what he's forgotten. Also, I may just be a drummer, but it does'nt take a genius to figure out that Brian and John are pretty good at playing those stringy things they play. And to top it all off Keith, their (newish)bass player has got the chops and voice to stay neck-n-neck with the others.
First night we played in the new(to us) Chelsea's, had a blast and got to hang out with our friend Julie. We also got a suprise as Glitter(Fireflies is abiut her)showed up! Too much fun!
The next night was in New Orleans at Tipatina's. We did'nt get to drive around before and see any post-Katrina N.O.'s but maybe next time we play there. We did take Chad, Keith, plus our buddy Isaac(who was selling merch and stuff) down to Bourbon Street. Luckily we all made it out safely, and Chad rerained from killing any Hobos.
Our last night was in Alexandria. Alexandria, you say? Yep. Seems ther's this sorta music appreciation society there and they invited us to play. It rained, twice, but it went away. Shit, gotta go. We are in St. Louis, and are about to play. I'll finish this up L8r! Byyiooch!
XXOOXXOO
T

Last Minute Homework

posted on: Friday, May 18, 2007

Hey diggidees,
French kisses with a little over the bra gropin! It was only a matter of time that that itch in a place you don't need to know came back and I let you know what is going on, my peep-peeps(hee-hees)! Also know that evidently my damn-ass spell check aint(is not) working in this new Google-enhanced/bought blog space-shit. Sorry, but you are probably used to my half educated ass anyway. History degrees do not get you very far these days.
As of late we have been reserving our energies on the home front and trying to do the things we can to be productive citizens of this society by any means we can. And stuff.
But then we found out that we had a little mini-tour of the South Eastern States. Well then we decided to let fly with our figuratve charged batteries and ROCK aforementioned S.E.S! If you have not figured, S.E.S. means South Eastern States. Now I realize that the geographical area is quite a simple thing to acronym, but some of you may not know what the hell I mean. Shit, I had to look up both those stupid words. I 've gone too far now, and can't stop. Or just maybe I will. Bite me. I'm sorry. On with details:
1) So many memories of Oxford from Slobberdays(TM). Bu't those days are gone. But we can still turn a good jig and stomp with the people who stay in town when the University's out! LARRY BROWN RULES. BUY HIS BOOKS! Also there is this gas station by Proud Larry's(where we played) that has awesome chick-on-a-stick. GO!
2)Memphis. It's close to Oxford. We had time to kill. We went to the Gibson Guitar factory and took a tour. $10 each and 45 minutes later we decided we just should have gone to the Rendevous. So we did. Ribs is da besstest! That night a blinding combination of a heavy thunderstorm and Son Volt a couple of blocks away made for an intimate crowd. But we sonically seduced them and they finally gave their "Drams maidenhood". I think that statement was to salacious. Let me look that word up..............yes that is the word!
3)On forth we drove to Raleigh, N.C. to play at the Hideaway BBQ. Top notch staff, management and booking(we heart MaryAnne).
4,5,6,7) Im getting F-ing honest right here and now with you folks. I'm getting tired. The dates we had in Ashville and Charelston were low on crowds and I blame that on the death of some preacher dying, the price of gas, and Satan conspiring to kill all momentum we had. That or the two days off between. Hell, I don't know...Lemons into vodka-Lemonade is what I say.
8)Atlanta. Smith's Old(e) Bar. REALLY LONG-TWO-FU-CK-ING-FLIGHTS-OF-STAIRS. But thats just the load in. Everything after that is sweet fricking GRAVY!!!! The staff is cool and the room sounds great. Prices are a little high for my chintzy ass, but it all evens out because load out is easy, just throw it down those fucking stairs! Believe it or not, I really like Smith's!
So know we come to a stoping point. I want to thank anybody thats come to see us. We do this because we love doing it and meeting new people. Please put the word out and tell others we are coming. Or once again we will send Chad out to come and find you. We will tell him that you are Hobo's. It will not be pretty.
Plus we may not be back for a while as I am going to experience the wonders of life as my wife and I have procreated. I think I had something to do with it. We'll see though.
Frickin' Smooches,
T

All dates subject to change. Please check with venues for show times, advance tickets and age requirements.

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